The league of random nutballs
by Metal Madness
Summary: Nine characters: Freddy Kruger, Trinity, Dumbledore, Samus Aran, Luigi, TX, Boba Fett, Storm and Scorpion team up to find Lex Luthor and his Daleks so they can get home. Chapter 1 up, and the team meet via reality TV!


Disclaimer: All the characters in this are not mine and are the copyrighted property of whoever owns them. Saying each one individually will take too long, but I'll do it anyway, but only this once. 

Lex Luthor - DC Daleks - BBC )  
Dumbledore - J.K Rowling  
Freddy Kruger - New Line Cinema  
T-X and Trinity - Warner  
Luigi and Samus - Nintendo  
Scorpion - Midway  
Boba Fett - 20th Century Fox  
Storm - Marvel

Author's comment: Yes, all continuities exist in one world; it's a crossover thing.

* * *

Our tale of confusing events begins in the shadowy basement of the shadowy television executives who are known as (you guessed it) the shadowy television executives. One of the executives, obviously the leader for he was the one who got a seat, stared angrily at a squiggling line on a graph in front of him. 

"I'm angrily." He claimed in a rather calm voice.

"We don't know why the ratings are so low..." One of the bulkier shadowy executives began to explain, before he was cut off.

"The ratings are low? I was angry because this basement was too shadowy to see the graph! I'm really angry now!" The lead shadowy executive pressed a button and watched as the bulky executive fell down a trapdoor into a pit of sharks.

"When did we get sharks?" Questioned a different executive.

"Bought them off E-bay." The lead executive explained. "But now is not the time or place. We have to figure out a way to boost these ratings, and fast!"

"How... about... more reality T.V shows?" One of the executives suggested. Everyone stared blankly at him. "Errrr... reality T.V with celebrities?"

"BRILLIENT!" The lead executive shouted. "Surely such an idea shall elevate us to gods among T.V ratings!" One of the executives stepped forwards nervously.

"Sir, there is a problem. These days no celebrities actually want to go on reality shows. Even 'I'm a celebrate get me out of here' as resorted to using people like 'the mum of the doctor of Gandalf's hairdresser'." The executive explained. A cruel grin formed on the lead executives face.

"Well, who says we can't just force them to take part?"

"The law?"

"Well I don't care, it worked in that Dr Who episode, it can work here." The lead executive claimed.

"Fair enough Lex." A different executive replied. The lead executive turned on the light to revel himself to be Lex Luthor.

"Well thanks allot jackass, I just lost my mysterious thing." Lex then shot the executive, who strangely still seemed to be in shadow, despite the fact the entire room was bathed in light.

"I should have gone into radio." The executive grumbled as he died.

"Right, now my minions, buy a transmat off the Daleks." Lex paused. "Also see if one wants to host the show, that'll be good for ratings." Then, with that bizarre marketing idea, Lex Luthor left the shadowy basement, probably to steal candy from babies or throw kryptonite at random passer-bys to see if they are Superman.

"I hate Daleks, their prices are ridiculous." One of the executives muttered.

* * *

For once, Dumbldore didn't know what was going on. One minute he was explaining to Harry why he wasn't punishing him for killing Professor Saruman, the next he was in the middle of a brightly lit room with nine other people, well not all people in the strictest meaning, but as a collective category it'll have to do. One of the people, who looked like a robot, was talking. This was a Dalek wearing a tie. It was talking to a camera which floating in the middle of the room. 

"HUMAN FEMALES AND MALES! I AM HERE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS ENTERTAINMENT SHOW! NINE CONTESTANTS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE AGAINST THERE WILL FOR YOUR ENTERTAIMENT! AND EVERY WEEK YOU SHALL BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO HAVE ONE EXTERMINATED!" The nine contestants exchanged glances, some of worry, others looked confuse and one looked humoured. "NOW I SHALL LEAVE THE LITTLE COUSIN HOUSE AND THEY SHALL BE LOCKED TOGETHER TO FACE THEIR DEMISE!" One of the contestants stood forward. He was a badly burned looking bloke who wore a striped sweater and glove with knives on.

"What's your game bitch?" The man asked, scrapping his claw like glove against the metal armour of the Dalek, producing a really annoying sound. The other contestants held their hands over there ears. The Dalek turned to the man angrily.

"YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" The Dalek shrieked. The man laughed.

"It's going to take more than a dustbin to scare this nightmare!" The sweater wearing burn victim claimed. The Dalek, a race known for their short fuse and lack of humour, instantly snapped at him and began firing wildly with his laser... nose... thingy.

"Mama mia!" A green clad bloke shouted as he barley dodged a laser blast. The stripped sweater wearing man dodged the blasts with surprising ease.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" The Dalek bellowed, unwitting raising the ratings by reminding people of the brain dead people normally on reality T.V. One of the 'contestants', a blond, young looking female rolled her eyes.

"This is just sad." She claimed, just before her arm turned into a futuristic gun and blasted the Dalek into hundreds of metallic bits, most of which could be recycled to make tin cans and T.V, but was only descent to be thrown away later. All the other contestants just stared at her, except the burnt bloke who laughed even more.

"Now I like this bitch!" He claimed.

"Do you have to call everyone a bitch?" The woman asked.

"Yes." He replied. "Oh, how rude of me, Freddy Kruger." He extended his gloved hand. The woman didn't shake it.

"They call me the 'T-X'." She replied. Freddy smiled and retracted his hand. The T-X turned to the other contestants. "And who are you lot? If one of you happened to be Connors, would you mind stepping out so I can kill you?" The T-X looked slightly annoyed when no one stepped out, not that you would expect anyone to, but a terminator can hope, can't she? That wasn't rhetorical, I really don't know.

"I'm Aldus Dumbledore." Claimed Dumbledore, waving a hand.

"I'm Luigi!" The green clad bloke announced. There was a short silence while the other people there decided if introducing themselves to the others. Especially considering so far a scary robot lady, disfigured bloke in a stripy jumper, old OLD man and... Luigi had been introduced. It didn't look like the greatest crowd so far. Nether the less, another person dared to let themselves be known. This was a black haired woman in skin-tight leather.

"I am Trinity and I need someone to direct me to the nearest phone... what are you looking at?" Trinity stared at what looked like a ninja. A ninja wearing yellow. The Ninja was staring back, but not at Trinity's face.

"The boobage..." The ninja muttered.

"And you are?" Trinity asked.

"The boobage..." The ninja repeated. This understandingly angered Trinity a bit. Anger that she vented appropriately by kicking the Ninja six ways from Saturday (whatever that means). As soon as the Ninja fell on the floor a voice boomed at from nowhere.

"FINISH HIM!" It bellowed. Trinity simply blinked. "I said FINISH HIM! Does no one listen to disembodied voices anymore?"

"Maybe we should continue with the introductions..." Luigi offered.

"I'm Scorpion by the way." The unconscious ninja somehow claimed. I suppose he wasn't really unconscious then, but who honestly cares? This is in the crossover section, no one will read it, and I know it. I can make as many illogical claims as I want. Where was I? Oh yes, the rather boring introductions. Come to think of it, I think I'll just introduce the last three right now because I can. These were Boba Fett, Storm and Samus.

After the Nine made each other's acquaintance, they decided the best thing to do would be to get back to whatever they were doing before they were blasted here and forget any of this happened. However, when they opened the door, which was unlocked because the Dalek never got to close it on account of being exploded, they realised something important.

"Where are we?" Trinity asked.

"I am so far from my ship." Samus muttered.

"Count yourself lucky." Freddy Kruger claimed. "I have to get back into peoples dreams. How am I meant to do that?"

"A magical mallet?" Luigi suggested. Everyone just stared blankly at him. "Sorry." Trinity sighed.

"Does anyone know where we are?" She asked. Dumbledore rose from the surprisingly comfy couch he had been sitting on. When I say couch, I mean a petrified cat with arm rests stuck to each shoulder.

"We do not need to know where were going, but rather how were getting there. You see, it is in the journey that..."

"Shut up." Boba Fett ordered. Dumbledore was going to ignore him, but he spied the gun and decided keeping his mouth shut was wise. In fact, he mentally decided to write a short speech about keeping his mouth shut.

"If we are to have any hope of finding our ways home, we must find the mastermind behind this plan and bring him down." Strom claimed.

"Why?" Scorpion asked. Storm shrugged.

"Just seems to be what I normally do." She replied. "And stop looking there." She ordered.

"Boobage... I mean I'm not looking at anything." Scorpion claimed, concreting his place as the groups pervert. Thirty consecutive bolts of lightning shortly hit him.

"Well if I'm to get back to my children we need to do something, and this bitches plan is the best so far." Freddy claimed, resisting his natural urges to kill everyone there.

"Your children? Do run a orphanage or something?" The T-X asked.

"If by Orphanage you mean murder any child I can get your hands on..." Freddy replied.

"Ah, how sweet!" the T-X and Freddy smiled wickedly and shared a bad guy moment. Everyone else stepped back, except Luigi, who didn't seem to get it.

"Do you run a murder any child you can get your hands on or something? What?" Luigi tried to decipher the statement. Unsuccessfully.

"Look, all I need to get out of here is a phone." Trinity claimed. "Also being able to top up my cell would be useful." She added, remembering her last talk with Link.

"Trinity! Morpheus is being killed by one billion Agent Smiths! You must save him! To do this, go to..." Suddenly Link was cut off.

"You are low on credit, there for we have stopped you from calling anyone anymore, you skint bastard." An almost sickeningly pleasant voice announced. Trinity shrugged and went to find somewhere to sleep.

"She's been staring blankly for five minutes, should we do something?" Boba Fett asked.

"Nah, she's just having a flashback. Just act as if you knew what she was thinking of when she comes round." Samus explained. A few seconds later Trinity regained normality.

"Very interesting." Storm claimed, taking Samus' advice.

"Yep." Freddy agreed.

"Especially the boobage." Scorpion added.

"Stop saying that." Trinity ordered.

"No. I will make it my catchphrase, my current one, 'get over here', is lame." Scorpion replied. The other eight did a sort of nod like thing in general agreement.

"Anyway, maybe we should get back to my idea." Storm suggested. Everyone stared blankly. "You know, we find out who is responsible for this, I just explained it a few minutes ago..."

"Wait, if we are to go after this person, wouldn't we need to team up?" Luigi pointed out.

"I work alone!" Both Samus and Boba Fett shouted in union, but like every loner in a group, they were completely ignored. Freddy Krugger's hand suddenly shot upwards.

"Dibs on leader!" He shouted.

"A leader is not decided by speed of dibing, but pureness of heart..." Dumbledore suddenly announced.

"You're still here?" Questioned Freddy.

"I had just taken a quick nap." He claimed.

"No you haven't, I'd be the first to know if you had." Claimed Freddy. Dumbledore looked a bit awkward before replying.

"Just trust me when I say you don't want to know what I was doing. Also don't go in the toilet for a few hours." He claimed. No one dared to pry any farther.

"Anyway..." The T-X wisely decided to steer the conversation away from Dumbledore. "I think I should be the leader because I have a gun for a hand."

"HELLO!" Samus shouted, waving her arm cannon in the air.

"Hi." Scorpion waved back. He was shot by Samus.

"Right, so it's decided I'm the leader." Freddy Kruger announced. "And as Leader I decree that this house will be our base, T-X is my second in command, Boba and Samus can be the muscle, Storm's in charge of making sure it's always nice when we go out, Trinity shall be the sex appeal and Scorpion is the group pervert. Now lets all go murder some children." Everyone shrugged and followed Freddy, except Luigi and Dumbledore.

"So what do we do?" Luigi asked.

"It is not what we do, but rather how we..."

"Shut up."

* * *

However, from his crystal, diamond, gold and chocolate skyscraper, Lex Luthor watched the newly formed group exiting the building. 

"Thank god they decided to set up base in a house I've loaded with cameras." Lex announced. A Dalek rolled up towards him.

"THE DALEK DEMAND PAYMENT FOR THE SERVICES THEY PROVIDED!" The Dalek bellowed. "IF YOU REFUSE YOU SHALL BE EXTERMINATED, THEN SUED!"

"Calm down. I will pay you, just as soon as I've exhausted you as my own personal army. I killed all my shadowy executives." Lex explained.

"THAT WASN'T PART OF THE AGREEMENT!" The Dalek claimed. Luthor simply stuck out his tounge in reply. The Dalek muttered angrily under its breath.

"Anyway, this new group that my disgruntled contestants have formed may be a worry. Luckily for me, I have hired the most ruthless and infamous bounty hunter in the world to take care of them." Lex then laughed for reasons probably best known to himself. "Here's his calling card." Lex threw a small piece of card to the Dalek, who somehow held it despite the fact such a thing is impossible for a Dalek.

"ERRRR... SIR, THIS SAYS HE'S THE MOST RUTHLESS AND INFAMOUS BUNNY HUNTER." The Dalek corrected him. Just as it finished it's sentence, the doors burst open and a short bald man stepped forward.

"I heawd you wanted someone to take cawe of some wascals? Hehehehehe."

* * *

Another comment form me: I thought this was meh, but kind of important to set up, otherwise the rest makes no sense. The next chapter will be better, it has Elmer Fudd in it. 


End file.
